I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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