She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
