i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
