it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
