Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
