mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
