I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it's like iHOP with fire
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
