I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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