I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize