According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
