there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
