Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
