need another drink. this is the easiest way
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
