Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
