i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
