And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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