If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
