Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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