Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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