This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
