I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
