i really wish james franco would like my vagina
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
