Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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