Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
