ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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