"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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