I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
