More tranny stories later!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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