Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize