what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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