that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
