her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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