I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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