Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
