Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
