How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
