I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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