He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
