Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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