it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
