To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
