Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
