Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
