Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
