i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
