i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
