Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
