a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
