you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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