dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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