i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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