i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
