i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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