She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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