It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
