need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
