i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
