I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
