The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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