mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize