We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
