So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
