yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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