he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
