no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
