I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
