who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
