she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
