i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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