If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
