I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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