I bet he comes in French.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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